Sunday, October 17, 2004

A ring-side seat

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Friday Morning Fights! Brought to you by the letter "F".

Let me start this story at the beginning... before the fight. On Thursday afternoon I overheard Musketeers #1 and #2 bitching about how BigFatBaby hadn't gotten back to them all day about a project they're working on together. (BigFatBaby is the world's biggest procrastinator- he's also one of the leasing brokers, and he brought the Musketeers in on an investment deal he's working on. It's been a mess from the beginning). Musketeer #2 was in typical grouchy-old-man mode, throwing his hands up in the air and saying "You know, HeadHoncho wants us to work with these leasing guys, but they're never around! This is rediculous." I assume from what happened the next day that they must have left him an agitated voicemail.

On Friday morning, as I finished checking all my personal email and started actully doing some real work, BigFatBaby came back to our end of the office. He stood outside Musketeer #1's door and addressed him.

BFB: You know, I was here at 3:30. I was in my office. I guess you didn't look too hard for me.

Musketeer #1: Whatever, it doesn't matter.

BFB: Yes, it does matter. I was here. (begins to walk away) You know, you guys really need to at least make an effort.

At this point, the dynamite under Musketeer #2's chair apparently went off, because he came flying out of his office, yelling.

Musketeer #2: We need to make an effort? WE need to make an effort?!?! You've got to be fucking kidding me! This is unfuckingbelievable!

BFB turned back to Musketeer #2 and a shouting match ensued. I couldn't see Musketeer #2, but I could tell by his voice that he was about to lose it. His voice, and the amout of times and in different forms he used the word "fuck".

BFB: Look, I brought you guys in on a 40 million dollar deal. I don't need this. (he approached Musketeer #1's office again and addressed him alone) I don't need this.

Musketeer #2 advanced on him, still screaming obscenities and telling him where he could stick his 40 million dollar deal. I bet Musketeers #1 and #3 loved that. Now, I was sitting in my chair, wondering at what point and if I should stand up and try to diffuse the situation, when luckily, laid-back, voice-of-reason Musketeer #3 stepped in. He stood up and literally stood between Musketeer #2 and BFB, saying "Let's calm down, we can discuss this later. Come on, let's talk about this later when we're all calm". Musketeer #2 and BFB went right on shouting over him. If it wasn't for him standing in between the two of them, I am sure it would have come to blows. Eventually, BFB just walked away.

Musketeer #2 went into his office, slammed a few things around, and declared he was leaving for the day. (It was about 9:30 a.m.) He stalked out of the office, leaving a strange silence behind him. Moments later, he reappeared.

Musketeer #3: I thought you were leaving?

Musketeer #2: I am. I forgot something.

Musketeer #1 (yelling from his office): Are you going to go on that call with us?

Musketeer #2: No! I'm leaving! (pause). No, I'll go on it with you. I'm sorry, that's not going to solve anything. Ok, I'll stay. But I'm not going with you on Tuesday. I'm sorry guys, but I'm out of that deal. This place is fucking rediculous! I should quit. If HeadHoncho was here I'd march right into his office and resign. I can't take this place anyomore..." and off he went on another rant.

About a half hour later, he apologized to me. And when HeadHoncho got in, instead of marching into his office and resigning, Musketeer #2 grovelled and apologized for his behavoir. This place is rediculous, indeed. But it's a hell of a lot of fun at times.


Blogger Zippy Buggleshorts said...

Are you a guy or gal?

8:42 AM  
Blogger SilentWitness said...

I'm female. Winner, unbeknownst to me, of the "best ass in the office" contest. (Well, what I mean is I didn't know there was such a contest, until Musketeer #1 let me in on that little secret. I suspect he told me just to watch me turn 8 shades of red.)I lost out on the "hottest older woman/hottest young chick" contest though, which is absolutely fine with me. (My boss is the hottest older woman, FunkyChick is the hottest young chick).

10:14 AM  
Blogger Zippy Buggleshorts said...

You write very well, on top of your other assets. Good thing that you have such great material on hand. I linked you from my blog, if you don't mind. Please keep writing!

11:18 AM  
Blogger darth said...

i came here because jane told me about it, and she has impeccable taste. GREAT BLOG.

12:41 PM  
Blogger SilentWitness said...

Hi Darth, thank you! I like your book-review blog idea. I am a voracious reader myself, so I may end up with some of your books on my "to be read" list!

7:10 AM  
Blogger Pink Lemonade Diva said...

This is a terrific recap. You left out how many people throughout the office witnessed the whole thing.

Great reading.

11:40 PM  

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