Tuesday, November 23, 2004

No-Carb Nation

In an effort to restore some levity to this gloomy blog, I am posting some tidbits from my secret stash. This stash is made of up entries I typed up for myself after I took the first blog down. So some of these are a little old, but I noticed a theme running through them and figured I'd post them here.

August 25th
Today Jane took JerseyGirl out to lunch for her birthday. I asked her how her lunch went and she said it was very nice.

Jane: I had my chicken fajitas. I like those because they're low in calories. You know, it's just chicken and vegetables, and the only thing that has calories is the wrap, and how much could that have?

Me: Chicken has calories... it has more calories than bread.

Jane: You think so? No... chicken is lowfat. Bread definitely has more calories.

Me (beginning to regret I said anything): What? Meat has a lot more calories than a piece of bread.

Jane: Don't tell me that, I've been eating all meat and no bread, trying to lose weight!

Me: I think you're confused because of Atkins. If you're worried about carbs, yeah, bread has carbs and meat doesn't. But if you're counting calories... meat definitely has more calories than bread.

Jane: Well I guess then you'd have to eat no meat!!!

I held my tongue, but I wanted to point out that there are people who do that - they're called vegetarians. Instead I just told her I'm not discussing food with her anymore. Can it really be that people just believe everything the advertisments tell them, and don't actually know anything at all about what calories are? I guess so.... I guess I just met Exhibit A.

August 27th
FunkyChick has just returned from a vacation to France. I was talking to her, asking how it went, etc., and we got to talking about cultural differences (vive le differance?). She mentioned that their diets are "amazing", they eat tons of bread and cheese and are all so thin. She said: "I guess because here we're so sensitized because everything's Atkins... we don't eat any bread. Over there we saw people- thin people!- eating tons of bread, people eating sandwiches, it was amazing!".

Now, I know that Atkins-mania is taking over our nation, but I do still see people here eating sandwiches. (Well, not here, as in, this office, that would just be insane).

September 1st
Yesterday, Jane and I walked next door for our usual lunch. The special was meatloaf, which was served with green beans and mashed potatoes. I, not feeling well, opted for a corn muffin. Jane, however, got the meatloaf, but told the guy not to give her any mashed potatoes, since they're on the "no-no list". As we were walking back to the office she started rationalizing aloud: "So, this is pretty good right? Pretty lowfat? Meatloaf and green beans aren't fattening... and I didn't get the potatoes, so that's good." I (very wisely) just kept my mouth shut this time. No need to rain on her little delusional parade, but I don't think I've ever seen meatloaf on a low-fat menu.

Then, to top it off, as I was chit-chatting to my boss, I mentioned that we'd just found out one of our cats is diabetic. She was shocked that cats could even have diabetes, and then said "Well, I guess you better stop giving him carbs!"

The next time you hear from me, it will be through a communication from my best friend. She'll be forwarding the article from the newspaper: "Crazed Woman Attacks Co-Workers- Authorities Suspect Carbohydrate Overdose"


Blogger AnonymousCoworker said...

When I came back from visiting Paris people would always be shocked, SHOCKED! to find out that our breakfast everyday consisted of an assortment of grain, bread, and carbs. They would then turn their brains off when I tried to explain that Parisians walk everywhere and how their flour is not bleached and processed like ours. Then they would say something about Atkins, and I would have to not kill them? How is that fair? Their should be an exception in the law for taking someone down if they talk too much about Atkins.

Great blog by the way. At first I wondered if we worked in the same office.

12:06 PM  

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