Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Happy F-ing Birthday

I believe it has been documented how ridiculous birthdays are in this place. Sometime long ago, people started taking each other out to lunch for their birthdays. Very nice, right? It has evolved now into an obligatory outing, with everyone feeling that they must go because the other person came to their lunch, and it always takes much longer than the hour we are allotted for lunch, and the natives get very restless when the squaws aren't here to do their cooking and cleaning. Naturally, the birthday girl doesn't have to pay for her lunch, we all chip in and pay for her. It started out as a nice thing to do, but for the last few months, every time we take someone out, there is always some problem or someone getting their feathers ruffled. It's really not worth it anymore, and today was the last straw.

Today we were supposed to take Jane and Mosquito out - Jane's birthday is at the end of the week, but she's using up her vacation days and won't be here, and Mosquito's birthday is next week. To make a long and complicated story short, about half of the people who were supposed to go either weren't here or couldn't go, leaving just JerseyGirl and I to foot the bill for two birthday girls' lunches and our own. I wasn't going to say anything about it, I figured that's the way the cookie crumbles, but Jane, who is very blunt, flat out said she felt really bad about that part of the deal and would I rather we do it next week when everyone could come. I hemmed and hawed and asked JerseyGirl what she thought, and she said she'd been a little unhappy about it but didn't want to appear cheap. So we decided it would be best to wait until next week anyway, that way more people could be in on the fun. (ha). I told Jane, and she mentioned it to Mosquito. Do you know what Mosquito said? "Well, I guess we're at their mercy, aren't we?"

EXCUSE ME?! How about we just not take you to lunch at all, you ungrateful cretin? What the hell does it matter if we go today or next Monday? You can bet every dollar in the treasury that had the tables been turned, she would have been griping about the situation for days.

I think birthday lunches should be banned, starting January. If people truly want to take someone out for their birthday, they can do it on their own time after work. Just watch how quickly people stop THAT little tradition if they have to give up their own precious time. We already have an ice cream cake every month for all the birthdays in that month (presided over by Nutjob, of course). We don't need 2 hour lunches that always result in hard feelings in addition to that.


Blogger darth said...

ugh...that happened at every office i've worked at...what starts to be a fun, casual thing to do turns out to be this heavy obligation where everyone gets stressed out about it, who comes, who splits the bill, yadda yadda.

so now i just pay for it, as an office thing. its just easier.

9:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I’m the most anti-birthday business person around, and I’ll proudly wear that in my cap. If I’m friends with someone at work, then by all means I will go out for their birthday, I’ll insist. But when they have those asinine birthday meetings in the conference room where all the people from the department are there, it just makes me go insane.

I told my own workmates two years ago not to get me a cake and the last thing on Earth – on the fucking planet I wanted was a party. This little f-ing wench decided SHE wanted to have a party anyway. This is where the story gets fun – I was on some over the counter drug for my sinuses, and had only been on it two days – when the side effects started, or should I say the side effects ripped open my body jumped inside and took the controls. I had gone from Mr. Ring of Fire to Mr. Rage of Fire (see Goofy’s Mr. Walker v. Mr. Wheeler for more details.) and I was ready to go nuts. I was handed the biggest knife ever known to cut birthday cake, and I could only wonder what Sam Rami would have me do if he were there. Wonder and smile.

Mr. Ring of Fire

3:09 PM  
Blogger MrTeacher said...

Great blog. You've got to join the Anonymous Work Blogs blogring. anonworkblogs.blogspot.com

3:57 PM  
Blogger Pink Lemonade Diva said...

I am so on your side with this. One guy I know started a new job and was asked by a coworker when his birthday was so that they could get him a cake on the day to celebrate. He responded by saying to the woman that she didn't want to celebrate his birthday, rather that she wanted to take advantage of an opportunity to not work. And he'd rather not share his birth date.


9-5 and 5-9 should not intermingle

10:30 PM  

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