Monday, December 20, 2004

Merry Everything

Smartass SilentWitness here. So far this holiday season has been a big disappointment at the office. First, CheapSkate didn't ask to "preview" my choice of holiday cards. Usually he looks at them under a microscope, searching doggedly for any trace of something that might resemble a Christmas tree or a bough of holly or a reindeer. This year- nothing. And of course, you all know that our office is sadly without the Giant Dreidl of Death due to Nutjob's recent conversion to atheism. *cough*. And nothing will beat last year's Mystery Birds. (A broker brought a 3ft Christmas tree in and perched it on the edge of his cube wall. PartnerInCrime and I bought a bunch of birds from a craft store and put a new bird in the tree every day. It was classic. He had no idea where they were coming from.)

Perhaps it was because I was missing the usual holiday hi-jinks that I got a little punchy today. Our office is closed on Monday, because Christmas is on Saturday. (No, I can't figure it out either). My boss sent an email out today to remind everyone about the closure. Here's what her email said:

"Just a reminder that the office is closed on Monday, December 27th (a day off for the holiday that falls on Saturday, December 25th).

Enjoy!! "

When I teased her about saying "the holiday that falls on Saturday, December 25th", she swore that she had to say it that way because she's not allowed to say "Christmas". I think she's getting a little carried away- the company calendars say "Company Holiday- Merry Christmas!", so I doubt she'd have a problem if she mentioned it in an email.

Well, CheapSkate can't let a good opportunity pass him by, so he replied:

"Not for those of us who are Jewish!"

After pointing out that even if you're Hindu, that doesn't mean there isn't a holiday on Saturday, December 25th, I suggested we send him a Kwanzaa card. My boss gleefully agreed, and we signed it: "Love, your sistahs, Boss and SilentWitness".

So far no reply. Dang.


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