Tuesday, March 15, 2005

It's that time of year

Time for my annual review. My boss called me today and said to get my objectives ready, she'd do my review tomorrow when she comes to my office. So, I figured I ought to start working on them...

1. Instigate as much friction between Jane and Nutjob as possible. Sit back and watch the sparks fly.

2. Install an office-wide weather notification system, in an effort to cut down on panic over snow storms.

3. Continue to closely monitor PhoneSwindler's expense reports, to keep him from swindling.

4. Provide a continuous supply of homemade baked goods, and listen to the Psycho Dieters complain about the calories as they wolf them down.

5. Try to convince FoulMouthedOldFart that now that he's made his big giant colossal deal, he can retire, and stop coming to the office to yell about the Yankees and pussy.

Think I can handle all this in the coming year? Think it will at least get me my cost-of-living increase?

PS I can virtually guarantee that I will not actually have my review tomorrow. I figure it'll get done sometime in the next two weeks, and will take another two weeks to get HeadHoncho's signature on it before being sent to HR. If I do get that cost-of-living increase, at least I'll have a nice fat retro pay check coming my way.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You forgot "Investigate discount ice cream cake distributors to eliminate Nutjob's monthly 'delivery fee.'"

Dinner's on us some night if you actually have your review today. I say no way it'll happen.


9:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And don't forget tattling on more colleagues who complain about office issues, and then get upset when you bring said issue up to your boss.

Mr. Ring of Fire

11:36 AM  

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