Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Nutjob stories never get old

Two very brief incidents that just further illustrate the "nut" in Nutjob.

Our mail is delivered to the front desk (naturally), and whoever is taking a shift up there when it comes in sorts it and makes an announcement that it's here. Sometimes I remember to walk up and pick it up myself, but most of the time I completely forget about it, and someone ends up bringing it back for me- usually Nutjob. The other day, Jane went up to get her mail and saw my pile still there, and started to take it and said she'd bring it back for me. Nutjob snatched the pile out of her hands and said "No, I bring SilentWitness her mail!". No sooner had Jane finished telling me this than Nutjob flounced down the hall, deposited the mail in my inbox and brightly announced "Here's your mail!!!". I can't figure her out. I thought she was afraid of me.

Another story, as related by Jane. One morning while I was away, when Nutjob arrived in the morning (at 8 a.m.), she came right over to Jane's cube with a little bag saying "I just bought something and I have to show you!" She proceeded to take out the world's smallest bikini (according to Jane) and lay it out on Jane's desk. "It's my new bikini! Oh, and the top fits me just perfectly". Jane said she just smiled and nodded and said "that's pretty". What was Nutjob expecting her to say? But what makes this story even better is that five minutes after telling me, Jane came back and asked me not to tell my boss about it, that she just thought it was humorous and she wasn't offended. That's become her standard disclaimer these days, ever since I did my job last year and passed on an incident that really offended Jane (rightfully so). She accused me of betraying her and relaying a secret to our boss. It took her months to come around and start telling me her stories and complaints and gossip, but it takes everything I have not to smirk when she gives me the "Oh, and don't tell your boss about this" comment at the end. If she can't see the difference between a sexual harassment issue and some stupid office gossip, she needs to get a clue.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

When nutjob was in Hawaii, on the western side of the Ring of Fire, I saw her fully dressed. Her in the tiniest bikini makes me want to spew - hot molten ash all over my eyes.

Mr. Ring of Puking Fire

11:13 AM  
Blogger SilentWitness said...

Not to contradict you, Your Volatile-ness, but Hawaii is pretty much in the middle of the ring of fire. Please don't eject any lava-bombs at me.

11:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

California = Eastern end of the Ring of Fire
Hawaii = West
Japan = Far East/West depending on where you're standing.

/ \

Mr. Ring of Fire

3:57 PM  
Blogger Violet Meeks-Kane said...

Never...never...never want to see the words Nutjob and Bikini in the same PARAGRAPH again.

2:41 PM  

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