Thursday, September 15, 2005

Coffee Klatsch

Surely you've not forgotten Mr. Misogyny, king of "that's women's work". Why is it that I always bump into him when I'm getting my afternoon coffee? I went into the kitchen to get some coffee, because it was either that or tell Jane to shove her questions up her ass, and a pot had just finished brewing. As I was taking it out of the machine and putting it on the counter, Mr. Misogyny walked in.

Mr. Misogyny: OH! Look at that, there's coffee!

Me: Yeah, just finished brewing.

Mr. Misogyny: You have to time it right around here if you want coffee.

Me: Well it must be popular today because I know Sam* just brewed a pot an hour ago.

Mr. Misogyny: Sam? Sam brewed coffee? Huh, how about that.

I bit my tongue, very hard.

Mr. Misogyny: Well you know Sam. He and Phil* are in the coffee-drinking corner. They have to have their coffee!

Must. Not. Make. Smartassed. Comment.

He finally left, and as I was pouring my own cup, in walked Phil. I flashed him my best smile and said in my best syrrpy sweet voice "Coffee's ready!"

Phil (laughing): I know it's ready, because I made it.

Me: Well, Mr Misogyny was just in here, and he was stunned that someone besides a woman made it.

Phil: I'm not surprised.

Me: It's beneath him, you know.

Phil: Well you know, some assholes are bigger than others.

Coffee shooting out your nose is really uncomfortable.

*not his real name, blah blah blah


Anonymous Anonymous said...

So Mr. Mys doesn't make coffee because his asshole is too big?

For crying out loud, THIS is why I don't drink coffee, you sick, sick people!

Mr. Ring of Disgusted Fire

4:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There's an alternate version of the Smith's "Some girls are bigger than others" in there, I'm just not up to the challenge today...


4:02 PM  

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