Thursday, October 06, 2005

Wake-up call

I think Jane is competing with Nutjob for attention. This morning she tried to kill us all. All the coffee drinkers, anyway. After stumbling into the office, bleary eyed after a night of incredible hockey excitement (15 games in one night! has that ever happened before?), I got myself a nice hot cup of joe. Ahhhh. As I sat at my desk sipping it, I noticed it had a peculiar smell and taste. It kind of reminded me of dirty diapers. That's real appealing in your morning cup of coffee. I made a comment about the coffee tasting funny, knowing Jane would hear.

Jane: Do you have it in a cup?

Me: Um..... yes. [pause] As opposed to what?

Jane (laughing): Oh SilentWitness, you know what I meant. Do you have it in a ceramic cup?

Me: Yes.

Jane: Maybe the detergent didn't get all rinsed out of it?

Me: Could be. I'll try using a styrofoam cup. [I'm sorry, Mother Earth!]

Nope. No dice. The coffee in the styrofoam cup gave off the same baby-shit odor.

Me: I still think it tastes funny.

Jane: Huh. I don't notice it.

I decided not to drink it, and since I was headed out to the bank anyway, I figured I'd get myself a proper cup of coffee, I.e., Dunkin Donuts (toasted almond flavor.... mmmmm....). When I got back to the office, Musketeer #3 was loitering outside the building, which is odd, because he doesn't smoke. I have no idea what he was doing there.

Musketeer #3: Where are you coming back from?

Me: The bank. I stopped to get some coffee because ours tastes like baby poop today.

Musketeer #3: Wonderful!

Apparently while I was gone, the mystery had been solved. Jane came rushing up to me and told me Bruce had noticed the funny taste too, and thought it might be that the carafe hadn't been rinsed fully after using the cleaning solution. Ever the brave soul, he put a bit of cleaning solution on his tongue and declared that that indeed was what he tasted in his coffee. Jane evidently flipped out when he did this, until he pointed to the place on the bottle that said "non-toxic". She was not mollified, however. When she came over to tell me what had happened, she asked me several times if I thought everyone would get sick from it. I told her not if it says "non-toxic", and even so, it's not like we all drank mouthfuls of it. She wasn't satisfied with this reasoning though and ran around the office telling everyone to dump their coffee and going through the whole story about what was wrong with it and why and how she was afraid she was going to give everyone diarrhea. (Her words).

I think I might bring in my own little coffee maker and make my own coffee from now on. Either that or stop at Dunkin Donuts on the way in everyday. Yum.

Also of note: This morning there was a pair of pants folded neatly on one of the conference room chairs. I don't even want to know.


Anonymous Anonymous said...



12:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like your pants.


12:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha! Twice! I rule over Mr. RoF!

12:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tsk tsk tsk ChinaGirl - my mother has always warned me about fast women. (I hope you can sleep better tonight knowing I didn't "beat you" to posting first. Or is it that I chose to let you post first ..hmmm...)

1. Pants in the conference room - when its not a day where its raining or snowing hard out ... weird.

2. That you can equate dirty diapers with any other taste really really makes me cringe, SW. A cringe worthy of Mats Sundin's new eye patch. Ouch.

Mr. Ring of Fire

12:22 PM  
Blogger Craig said...

OK, I admit it: those were my pants.

Can I have them back, please? It's very drafty without them.

9:04 PM  

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