Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Holiday cheer

You know how, when you go shopping around this time of year, you are bombarded with Christmas carols? And you know how, by the third time you hear Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, you're ready to kill someone? Yeah. Well, you'd think you'd be safe from that in your office. Not when you sit next to Jane! I thought I'd experienced every aspect of her annoying personality, but I guess she was saving this up for me. She is singing. Not only is she singing, she's singing Christmas carols. And not just any Christmas carol, oh no, she's singing "Walking in a Winter Wonderland".

That in itself is bad enough, considering how easy it is to get that song stuck in your head. But when you're sick and twisted like me, you don't get the normal version of that song stuck in your head, you get the parody version "Walking 'Round in Women's Underwear" stuck in your head. Which, in light of yesterday's post, seems strangely appropriate. Since ChinaGirl is about to come to my office and do me bodily harm if I keep IM'ing her the lyrics (hey, misery loves company), I'm subjecting all of you to the torture. Happy holidays!

Lacy things -- the wife is missin',
Didn't ask -- her permission,
I'm wearin' her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.

In the store -- there's a teddy,
Little straps -- like spaghetti,
It holds me so tight,
Like handcuffs at night,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.

In the office there's a guy named Melvin,
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.

He'll say, "Are you ready?" I'll say,"Whoa, Man!"
"Let's wait until our wives are out of town!"

Later on, if you wanna,
We can dress -- like Madonna,
Put on some eyeshade,
And join the parade,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!

Lacy things... missin',
Didn't ask... permission,
Wearin' her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.

Walkin' 'round in women's underwear,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Will. Not. Read. Lyrics.

ChinaGirl (Walkin' 'round in women's underwear...)

10:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I particularly like "I am Santa Claus" sang to Ozzy's "Iron Man".. or the McKenzie Bros. doing the 12 Days of Christmas with Geddy Lee.

Ahhh classics...

Mr. Ring of Yuletide Fire

10:16 AM  
Blogger SilentWitness said...

ChinaGirl, I should hope so, because if you were walking around in a pair of tighty whities I'd be worried.

10:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is nothing more annoying then christmas carols. I havent heard that song...walking round in women's underwear. But yeah...that song surely does stick in your head...thanks a lot!

4:56 PM  
Blogger Craig said...

Sing it, Al:

It’s christmas at ground zero
There’s music in the air
The sleigh bells are ringing and the carolers are singing
While the air raid sirens blare

It’s christmas at ground zero
The button has been pressed
The radio just let us know
That this is not a test

Everywhere the atom bombs are dropping
It’s the end of all humanity
No more time for last-minute shopping
It’s time to face your final destiny

It’s christmas at ground zero
There’s panic in the crowd
We can dodge debris while we trim the tree
Underneath the mushroom cloud

You might hear some reindeer on your rooftop
Or jack frost on your windowsill
But if someone’s climbing down your chimney
You better load your gun and shoot to kill

It’s christmas at ground zero
And if the radiation level’s okay
I’ll go out with you and see all the new
Mutations on new year’s day

It’s christmas at ground zero
Just seconds left to go
I’ll duck and cover with my yuletide lover
Underneath the mistletoe

It’s christmas at ground zero
Now the missiles are on their way
What a crazy fluke, we’re gonna get nuked
On this jolly holiday

6:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

everything dies

7:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Greaaaat! Thanks a lot. Like the original lyrics weren't bad enough.

9:51 AM  

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