Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Why me?

I must be a good listener. That's the only thing I can think of. People in this office have told me some pretty detailed personal things. There was one broker's description of his gout, at least three brokers with their detailed recollection of their colonoscopies, RunOnSentence's revelation about her breast cysts and her daughter's "feminine" problems... and on and on.

She got me again today. RunOnSentence, that is. She came over to tell me about how sick she was on her days off (the last two days), how she thought she had bronchitis but the doctor said her lungs are totally clear but it feels heavy in her chest not in her head so she doesn't get how it could be upper respiratory.... etc. Somehow in the course of the monologue (you really can't call it a conversation if all I'm saying is "mmm hmm") she decided to tell me that while she was at the doctor she asked him about this weird rash she has on her stomach. And proceded to lift up her shirt and show me.

RunOnSentence: Look! Isn't that weird? It started with this one (points to one near her navel) and now look (points to more on her ribcage).

She even pushed the waist of her pants down a little to show me some under her navel, and proceeded to explain she'd had them once on her breast (what's with the breasts!?) and the doctor said it was some kind of fungus. I almost choked on my coffee. What the hell do you say to that? Gee, I hope your rash goes away soon? Don't touch anything in my cube? Get away from me you freak?

Anyone have any leftover plastic wrap and duct tape? I need to secure my work area from biological hazards.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Honestly, the amount of "sensitivity training" that the entirety of your office needs to go through just absolutely amazes me.

Either that or they need to change the sign from BlogCompany to Blogville Farms for the Insane* Now with Fungus!

Mr. Ring of Fire

10:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LMAO! Get away from me you freak literally made me spit out the water I was sipping at the time of reading.

SquishyGirl (formerly known as ChinaGirl, but soon to be fired from the sweatshop by Mao, so needed a new name)

11:45 AM  
Blogger SilentWitness said...

"SquishyGirl". Nice.

12:30 PM  
Blogger Craig said...

You should have asked to lick the Rash. That would've gotten her away right-quick.

Unless, of course, she's into that sort of thing. But hey: what a great blog entry that would be! :)

5:33 PM  
Blogger Wizard said...

I found this blog a few weeks back and I've been browsing it since then and your cracking me and and scaring me at the same time. Your office sounds a lot like mine, and runonsentence sounds just like 'micromanager' in my office (see my blog for details on that).
My response to the fungus would be 'Good luck with that....'

1:22 PM  

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