Wednesday, March 15, 2006

My apologies to So-and-So

Recently, I started playing hockey with SilentHusband and his rag-tag band of weekend warriors. I knew I was hooked the day I went to watch them and stood in the 25* cold for an hour and a half and didn't care about the cold. (Stay with me, this will be work-related). So, I got myself some gear and I've been practicing and hope to be good enough for the "big weekend games" soon. Why do I mention this? Because my work world and my hockey world collided yesterday, and I feel a little disturbed by it. I thought my boss might get a chuckle out of seeing a few pictures one of my friends took of me and SilentHusband practicing, so I emailed them to her (and a whole bunch of other people), and couldn't resist adding a picture of my favorite player, who has become god-like in my eyes now that I really know how hard it is to do all that stuff that they make look so easy. I was in her office when she opened the email.

MyBoss: What's this from you, pictures?

Me: Yeah, it's me playing hockey.

MyBoss: Oh cool!!! (opens email, makes appropriately encouraging comments upon seeing my pictures, then sees the picture of the player) DAAA-AAAAMN! Who is THAT?

Me: Oh, that's So-and-So, my favorite player.

MyBoss: Wow. He's hot. Who knew hockey players could be so good looking?

At this point I was turing 18 shades of red, because I am aware that the man is attractive, but that is honestly not why he is my favorite. Of course she would never believe that and so my skin decides that's a good enough reason to turn red. Stupid Nordic pale skin.... Anyway.... she asked me his name, and since he is part of the European invasion of the NHL it's a funny-sounding name to us simple folk and she made me repeat it at least three times. Which made me turn redder. I thought that was pretty much the end of it, and went about the rest of my day. Later on I decided she needed a pick-me-up, so as I joke I sent her another picture of So-and-So. When I went into her office later, I noticed she had printed the pictures out, full size, on regular office letter size paper. Oh dear. I pointed it out and laughed and she started quizzing me.

MyBoss: How old is he?

Me: 22

MyBoss: Wow. Twentytwo?! Is he married?

Me: No but I hear he has a serious girlfriend.

MyBoss (waves the notion away): Eh, so what. Does he have an accent?

Me: Of course. He just came here last year.

MyBoss: Wow.... look at those eyes. I don't think I could have dinner with someone this good looking, I'd just drool all over my plate.

I was laughing, but started to feel a little creeped out. Then, leaning over her desk conspiratorially, she said...

MyBoss: In fact, I couldn't have sex with someone this perfect. I'd be way too nervous.

I drew two conclusions from this revelation:

1. MyBoss really needs to get laid.
2. I will never bring this up again, lest she start stalking the poor guy, or even worse, become one of those female hockey "fans" who give us all a bad name by going on about how "hot" this one or that one is. Ick. I feel a little dirty now.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Babakganoosh said...

But...you ARE dirty.

11:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eh, however people get into the sport is fine by me. Its kind of like guys with women's tennis. Maria Sharapova is a terrific player, but that she's a drop-dead gorgeous goddess doesn't exactly hurt my love for the sport, either.

Mmmmm Sharapovaaaaaa... now there's a girl I wouldn't kick out of bed for eating goulash.

Mr. Ring of Fire

9:21 AM  
Blogger SilentWitness said...

Hey, if they get into the sport that way, fine. As long as they get into the sport. But there are some who give us female fans a bad name. ;)

10:00 PM  
Blogger SilentWitness said...

That made no freaking sense. I'm totally wiped from this move. The brain's a little fuzzy lately.

10:01 PM  

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