Wednesday, March 01, 2006

This thing is still here???

I thought it might have slunk off, feeling ignored and rejected. It's ok, little bloggy-wog. I'm done lavishing attention on Turino. Ah, now let's see what I can bring you all up to date on. Nothing incredibly funny or earthshattering has happened lately, except for Bruce and his big mouth (again). I know I mentioned HeadHoncho went on a hiring spree. Well one of the new brokers is a (fairly attractive, surprise surprise) female broker, brand spanking new to the business. Ooops. I probably shouldn't say "spanking".

Anyway... one day last week HeadHoncho called me and all the other females into his office separately, to explain that he'd heard some "rumblings" that Bruce was saying some inappropriate things, and that we should be sure to let him (HeadHoncho) know if he (Bruce) said anything offensive to or around us. My boss had a meeting with the administrative assistants to relay the same message, only she didn't reveal the culprit. So, you must be wondering what Bruce could have said that resulted in 5 brokers complaining to HeadHoncho in one week. I mean, what could be worse than what he's already said, right? Try this on for size: his cube is right next to NewFemaleBroker's cube. He *allegedly* described to her how he was "dry humping" his girlfriend until he reached a certain state of stickiness. (I am gagging just writing this, by the way). I say "allegedly" because the broker whose poor ears were singed didn't say anything directly to HeadHoncho, she mentioned it to some of the other brokers she works with. They in turn went to HeadHoncho. So, Bruce lucks out and doesn't get fired. Imagine that. Someone in my office not getting fired for saying/doing/looking at something incredibly inappropriate.

The big story on the horizon now is the coming snow storm. Just our luck, it's supposed to start just after morning rush hour and continue all day. I have already been *this close* to strangling Jane lately, mostly just for existing, but if I have to listen to her whine and fret and complain all day about how awful the roads look, she is going to get tossed out a window. I'll provide this blog as evidence in my trial. No jury in the world would convict me.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Talking about dry humping ... at work...???

I think if you were an adult film actor, you'd STILL get canned. I mean, dry humping - what is he, 13?

Oh, wait. Mentally he is. My bad.

Mr. Ring of Fire

7:18 AM  

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