Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Show me your spider

I was going to write about how RunOnSentence came into the office through the wrong door this morning and then wondered why the alarm was going off and what to do about it (despite my giving everyone the alarm codes only days ago), but something more entertaining presented itself. In our snazzy new office, we have a fancy hallway leading from the reception area to the rest of the office. It has nice wallcovering and soft lighting and eventually will have art hanging on the walls. This morning though, the only thing on the walls was a big brown spider. The building maintenance man happened to be walking in my direction, so I pointed it out in jest, as if it was something he should take care of.

Me: Check it out, Bob. A spider.

Bob (crouching to examine it): Ahh yeah, we have tons of those.

Tons? In an office building? This should be interesting. For some reason I found this amusing and was grinning about it as I walked to the coffee machine, where Bruce was lying in wait. I mean, already there making coffee for himself.

Bruce: What are you grinning about?

Me: Oh… there was a spider up front.

Bruce: That’s funny?

Me: For some reason, yeah.

He asked if it was a big spider and when I said no, he launched into at least two stories of HUGE spiders he’d seen in offices at other jobs. His description of one of them really gave me the willies.

Bruce: It was huge. And hairy. It looked like a mini-tarantula. I have no idea where it came from.

Me: Maybe it was someone’s pet that got loose.

Bruce: Hey… have you seen my tarantula?

(Oh dear… here we go…)

Me: I saw it’s dead carcass on your desk in the old space.

Bruce: That wasn’t a carcass, it was it’s shell! They molt!

Me: Ah…. I was wondering why you’d have a dead spider at your desk. I thought maybe it died and you didn’t want to part with it.

Bruce (shoving his picture-phone in my face): Here. That what he looks like.

Ack. I’m not especially frightened of spiders, but I don’t really like them all that much, especially giant hairy meaty ones. Besides, once you’ve seen one tarantula you’ve seen them all, really. Of course I didn’t tell him that, I wouldn’t want to bruise his fragile ego. While I was recovering from the case of the heebie-jeebies the picture gave me, he was scrolling through his phone looking for something else. I know he has a bird, so I assumed that’s what he was looking for. Nope. Another picture in my face. Of a scorpion. The guy has a pet tarantula and a pet scorpion. No wonder he’s single.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now if he had the spider face off against the scorpion, now THAT would be cool!

Scorpion wins …. Fatality.

Mr. Ring of Fire

10:22 AM  

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